Continuing on.

[helpmeguideit]

Continued from.

[ Charles arrived shortly after Erik. He had his driver drop him off at the other side of the park so that he could approach Erik on his own. He approached the bench and saw Erik. He nodded towards him. ]

My friend.

Comments

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

No, I haven't.

[Erik bowed his head, suddenly grateful for the brim of the hat obscuring his face. His brows drew together in an outward expression of the worry he'd kept within since he last saw Charles.]

Emma told me about your... condition. I'd be lying if I said it didn't haunt me. I am so very sorry, Charles.

[helpmeguideit]

If I say that I've forgiven you, would you be able to forgive yourself?

[ Charles looked as if he was still trying to meet Erik's eyes, despite the hat that was blocking his view. He was honestly curious, though. He had forgiven Erik, but -- he wasn't exactly someone who let go of things easily. ]

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

[He drew in a long breath at the sound of the words. Erik's greatest fear in the last month was that Charles would never forgive him, would hate him for what he'd done. Were their places reversed, Erik wasn't sure he'd be able to let it go. Charles was so forgiving, though. At length, he caught Charles' eyes and gave a muted shake of his head.]

I believe, my friend, that you have it in you to forgive das Führer himself. I am not like you.

[helpmeguideit]

That's different. You have done more than enough to earn a place for me that would get you my forgiveness. It isn't like I'm just handing it to you.

[ Although he knew it certainly looked like, he did know Erik very well, but knowing didn't always equate to understanding. He wanted Erik to forgive himself, but he wasn't sure how to lead him that way. ]

You should forgive yourself.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

In time, perhaps.

[It was highly unlikely. Guilt should be with him, blame. It only seemed right that he, too, should suffer from what he himself had done to Charles. It would be with him until his dying day and Erik very highly doubted he'd ever forgive himself for it.]

Surely, you didn't ask me here to lecture me on my principles and morals.

[helpmeguideit]

Time is all I ask for.

[ Charles wasn't about to let the fact that he was hurt - tired, by everything show through. He was happy that he had gotten through to Erik. ]

I miss you, my friend. I wanted to tell you that you always have a place at home.

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[Erik lifted a single brow. Partly in disbelief, partly in pure curiosity. Home. That had a nice sound to it. It's true, Charles' home in Westchester, the few short months he'd spent there with the others was the only place he'd ever felt at home since childhood. A part of him wanted to leap at the idea, to go home. A bemused look came over his features and he turned his gaze to Charles.]

I somehow doubt your children would agree.

[helpmeguideit]

They usually do disagree with me.

[ Charles has noticed it more often now than they used to. Usually it was strictly out of concern. He wasn't fragile, he could read minds, and while he didn't understand Erik always, he knew him. ]

They are usually just worried.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

Is it so bad for others to worry for you, Charles? All things considered?

[helpmeguideit]

I don't need anyone to worry about me. I'd prefer them not to. They have their own lives to attend to.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

Others will worry for you, Charles, because they care for you. Even I still worry for you.

[helpmeguideit]

[ Charles pauses, and considers those words. ]

They usually worry because they think of me as an invalid.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

And before?

[helpmeguideit]

It was different. It felt different.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

They're not wrong to worry, Charles. It isn't an evil.

[helpmeguideit]

They don't do as well in what I teach them when they worry.

[ He knows Erik is right. It isn't bad - just bothersome. He wasn't used to be surrounded by people when his demands for attention hadn't caused it. ]

I just want things to be as they were.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

[Erik lowered his head in shame. He knew Charles wasn't accusing him of anything, but he couldn't help but feel the sting of guilt at his words.]

I would give anything to change what happened, Charles.

[helpmeguideit]

We can't change it, Erik.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

I know that. Reality, however, doesn't change my feelings on the matter.

[helpmeguideit]

Coming to terms with it will help.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

Have you come to terms with it, Charles?

[Erik looked over to him from under the brim of his hat, his eyes full of regret and bitterness. His expression was pinched and weary around the edges, though it could just as easily been attributed to the early hour as the topic at hand.]

Have you come to terms with what I've done to you? With what I've made you?

[helpmeguideit]

What have you made me, Erik?

[ Those words maybe came out with more edge and sharpness to them than Charles had intended. He may also be dodging the question. ]

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

[Erik canted his head, wincing slightly. It was more of a shudder internally, a cold feeling that rippled through his body from head to toe. Putting words to such things as this made the more real. gave them permanency. He bowed his head in shame, grateful for the hat hiding his remorse.]

I've crippled you.

[helpmeguideit]

Yes, you have.

[ Charles makes an attempt to look Erik in the eyes. ]

And it was unintentional. I would still like for you to come back with me.

[e4e5nf3nc6nc3nf6]

I didn't think, Charles. I wasn't thinking about who was standing there... about who could've been hurt.