helpmeguideit | Testing, testing!~ [action post set in Mayfield]

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Testing, testing!~ [action post set in Mayfield]

[ Charles was someone who adjusted easily to most situations, but this wasn't what he would call most situations. He didn't have his powers, his clothing, or anything that would really be of much use of him when he arrived. He didn't even get his own chair when he arrived, which complicated things. Still, he treated it like most things - something that he could overcome, and that would definitely get better.

And now that the the work-day had ended, he decided to visit the library. There was something soothing about being outside. He hadn't yet visited, and he figured it would be a good chance for him to find things to keep himself busy when he was having trouble sleeping at night or there were breaks in his schedule.

He could even stop at the bakery on the way home, pick up something to eat after dinner. ]

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[ Charles, too, was bored by this. Surely, at some point in his life, he had wanted this for himself. It had changed so much when Moira had approached him. She changed his life. Now, this life was so basic. He didn't feel the excitement when he taught others from the students here. It was all so forced and routine.

That voice, though, was hard to hear. It had been awhile since he had spoken to Erik, and their last conversation left him empty and without his best friend and his 'sister' (so to speak). He turned his head first, then he shifted his chair so he was facing Erik. Now was just as good of a time as any to talk, and perhaps they could get privacy in the library. ]

Erik.

[ He nods his head politely, as one would do with someone they've barely just met. He wanted to distance himself from Erik in some ways, but the rest of him just wanted to sit there and spend long nights talking to his friend. He hesitated before he said: ]

...My friend.

[ It was really Charles. There was no mistaking him once he'd turned. He looked older than Erik recalled, more tired. It made him wonder if the stress of leadership on his own had done the same to him. Since parting, he imagined they'd meet again, perhaps in some heated ideological battle. This didn't ever cross his mind.

All the things he'd rehearsed, the things he thought would make him sound just and righteous fled from his mind. Erik blinked slowly, wetting his lips. It took a moment for him to tear his eyes from wheelchair and back to his former friend's face. ]

So it's true. [ He nodded toward the chair to explain what he meant. ]

I thought you would have heard.

[ Charles almost feels uncomfortable. It was a weird sensation for him when he was with Erik. They had before so freely discussed their views, no matter how different they were. Now, though, the wheelchair was the giant elephant in the room. ]

Though you seem well.

[ He lifted his brows and nodded slightly, a silent affirmation of Charles' suspicions. Yes, he heard. Emma took great delight in telling him. The woman... she was every inch Shaw's creation, more so than Erik. ]

It's hard to imagine anyone is unwell with their every needed provided for them.

[ Charles sighed. He knows well that their needs aren't all met, and that there is a loss of abilities here. It would be something very, very different for even himself. He couldn't imagine how Erik was dealing with it. And now, he couldn't even find his way into Erik's mind to see. ]

Are they?

[ He doubts. ]

I jest. [ Erik's wit was always a tad dry. Charles knew that. He paused for a moment, contemplating putting to words the question at the forefront of his mind. ] Tell me, is it everything you hoped it would be?

It hasn't been that long, Erik. Without a chance, how am I able to fairly say if it is what I hoped it would be? [ But at this point, it is not. He is certain it will be. It will take some work. ]

No? [ Erik canted his head slightly, brows lifting in an expression somewhat mocking. ] I would imagine it wouldn't take long at all for you to decide if living side-by-side as equals with humans was the perfection you dreamt it to be.

It takes time, Erik. I'm not expecting anything over night. [ Then, he adds, with a flatness in his tone that surprises even himself. ] This doesn't happen when I'm in a hospital.

Some things you just know, Charles. Instinctively. Immediately.

That takes work to achieve Erik. It is working out well, as far as we have gone.

Have you absolutely no concept of instinct, Charles? It's no great mystery at all why you are as you are.

I am as I am? [ He dares Erik, for a moment, to answer that. He could very easily blame him. ]

Naive and too easily hurt by the hard realities of the world. [ Erik saw no shame in the truth, or rather, his perception of it. ] I know this isn't everything you dreamed or you'd be content. There'd know talk of things to achieve and the time they take.

Of course I can't have exactly what I dreamed, since what I dreamed included both you and Raven. Things change, but that doesn't make me naive, and it doesn't mean I intend to stop. [ Not on his quest for hope - now that it appeared to be without end. Now that he had to hide, rather than be proud. Now that he was so concerned about the safety of himself and his children. ]

It is becoming a school.

[ Ouch. Erik's expression hardened subtly and his mouth set in a line. ] If you're trying to make me feel guilty, Charles, don't. It was you who chose this fate, not I.

[ He paused, letting out a slow breath. It did hurt. Erik wanted nothing more than to work side-by-side with Charles for the betterment of mutantkind. Charles, however, loved humans more... It was his fatal flaw and one Erik could never abide. So long as Charles maintained his delusion that their two species could live together in peace, they could never again walk the same path. ] What is there for you to do here, I wonder? Everyone is the same here... normal baseline humans. There's nothing to hate you here.

We're past the guilt phase, Erik. Just facts. [ He immediately pulls away when he normally would want to dive right into the conversation and bond with Erik. No, he needs to start keeping him at arm's length. As far as Charles can tell, Erik chose this when he decided to finish off Shaw. ]

They are not all baseline human, Erik. I've seen some. For now, I attempt to figure this place out, in the hopes it will lead me home.

Are we? [ Erik lifted a brow, clearly unconvinced. Then again, he was a man who never really let go of his guilt. Perhaps it made up for all the things for which he felt no remorse. Who could say? ]

Best of luck to you, old friend.

We are. I don't gain anything by making you feel guilty, nor do I gain anything by being angry at you. [ He really, really just wants to forget it ever happened. Not that he doesn't just have a permanent reminder, but -- it would be nice to not think about it constantly. ]

You too.

[ That was the end of it. Nothing more to say, and yet... ]

If you need anything you have only to ask.

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Testing, testing!~ [action post set in Mayfield]

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